Transcendent Confidence: And How to Pray For It

confidence

He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

There have been two times when I’ve clung to that verse for dear life.
The first time was when we were leaving our two boys, flying to Austin for a conference. I had never flown anywhere without them since becoming a mom.
As we were taking off out of Seattle I started to panic and I started to cry and in my head I was repeating “He is before all things and in him all things are held together.” I don’t have a fear of flying, and I had never had anxiety about a takeoff before. I remember being so afraid that something would happen to us, or happen to our boys, and it just terrified me to be going states away from them.

As we were lifting off, I became fully aware, after repeating this verse over and over, that he DOES hold everything together, including the lives of my husband and me, the lives of our boys, the wings of that airplane, all the way down to the molecules of air placed just right to provide lift under the belly of that plane. It’s all His.

The second time I held onto this verse like a lifeline, was when I was having our third child, our baby girl. At the beginning of my c-section, the anesthesiologist placed my spinal and then immediately I felt as though my body had turned into wet cement as they laid me on the table. I felt as though I couldn’t get enough air. I felt as though I was pinned to the floor. The doctor asked me how I was feeling, to which I replied “Not very good”, and then I saw him motion to the other doctor in the room and then point to the monitor where I saw a blood pressure number that was far too low be to good. 60/30ish. They worked quickly to bring it back up. Oxygen mask on, epinephrine pushed into my veins, and all the while I clung to my verse there on the table. He is before ALL things, and in him ALL things hold together. Even my blood pressure. In that moment I felt fear, but Jesus replaced it with peace as I kept reciting the truth about His sovereign power. Later my anesthesiologist told me that he was pretty surprised that I hadn’t lost consciousness during that event.

When we know that Jesus holds every single thing together, every part of our bodies, every part of this planet, everything that humans have created on the borrowed creative power of God, we can go anywhere and do anything and be in any situation, and fear will try to suffocate us and push us down and cause us to panic and turn back, but we know that He is before all things and in him everything is held together. And when we know that, we can go where He’s asked us to, overcoming fear along the way, and we can be sure that He will be there with us.

When we believe this, we will be in relationship with him in the deepest way possible; more fully understanding the depth of His love and His trustworthiness.  This will cause us to be the most fearless, loving people on the planet, and as I look around today, it does seem that our world could use quite a bit more of that.

He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

I am a Redeemed daughter. I am a 33 year old wife, and mother to 2 boys and 1 girl. Every day feels full to the brim with our kids and our orchard life and all that it entails, but I never stop looking for Jesus in
all the details. I long for the day that our world is completely lit up by His love and grace; that day when the gospel spreads like fire, and freedom blows through nations in a way that liberates the captives and bonds enemies as friends. I like to lose myself in books, look for beauty through the lens of a camera, put words to the page to try to unravel the tangle of thoughts in my mind, and I am absolutely crazy about seeing life-giving relationships come alive through friendships and shared passions. I’m hopelessly hooked on coffee, podcasts, music, and skies.
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