I desire to be a woman that is prone to worship rather than to wander. The Lord, rich in mercy and grace, lavishes immoveable and unchanging love upon me… Yet, even with His goodness and my individual daily pursuit of worship, the uncanny insight into my heart condition is evidence that our desires often go unmet.
As I am waist deep into the month of June, I am beginning to gain a sense of normalcy with my agenda packed of 40-hour work weeks, 6 credits of college course work and weekends spent road tripping to cities both near and far. The summer ahead holds many distractions, many daunting hours spent in the office or behind my laptop completing assignments and many enticing pathways to leisure. I know full well that my heart is prone to wander.
While I will always be a broken human being, I can and will strive to be the best possible version of my sinful and messed up self.
I’ve always believed that before we can make changes from within, we must be fully aware of our natural tendencies. The awareness of my sinful nature and tendency to wander astray has had me in search of ways I can redirect my gaze to the cross.
Brennan Manning does an impeccable job at explaining the importance of self-awareness in his compelling book, The Ragamuffin Gospel. If you haven’t yet read this book, I strongly advise you to go out and grab yourself a copy… It will completely wreck you, in the most magnificent way.
“To be alive is to be broken. And to be broken is to be standing in need of grace. Honesty keeps us in touch with our neediness and the truth that we are saved sinners. There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are.”
In order to be a woman that is prone to worship rather than to wander, I must find time amidst my busy and chaotic schedule to sit at His feet and truly enjoy His presence.
I often find it effortless to spend undivided time with the Lord during the stillness of the break of dawn or in the evenings when I can finally sink into my plush couch and rewind. Why is it that I often only give Him my complete and undivided attention during times of convenience? The Lord, the Creator of all things good, deserves to be met in the ordinary, in the uncelebrated and in the mundane.
I have full appreciation for the three months that offer more freedom to explore new hobbies and time to spend redirecting my attention towards things that truly matter. I am constantly praying for diligence, for I know that the days seem all too short and there is much I want to get out of this summer.
My days are juxtaposed of numerous tasks and responsibilities, and although it might not always be convenient to shift my gaze toward God, it is so important and equally as satisfying. Aside from the time I spend reading Scripture, I have discovered many other ways to center myself on the Lord.
Most mornings, I find myself talking with the Lord as I huff and puff my way through long runs. I sit behind my computer at my organized desk at work, praying over the people the Lord has graciously placed in my life. I have also been recently hooked on podcasts that I tune into while I am cooking dinner, doing the dishes or the many other house chores that creep onto my to-do list.
Also, yoga. You guys, I have fallen deeply in love with this mindful, physical and spiritual form of exercise. No matter how drained my body is after a nine hour work day, I always crave time on the mat in the quiet and still room. Although twenty-or-so strangers and a graceful instructor occupy the room as well, I find this to be refreshing “alone” time with the Lord. With every inhale, exhale or change of position, I am able to meditate and dig deep into the crevices of my heart to discover what the Lord has been impressing on me.
It is easy for us to recognize the Lord’s presence when we experience “mountain top” moments or witness evidence of His divine provision. Sadly, it is just as easy to wander astray and become consumed in our personal agendas, fixing our gaze upon earthly things rather than on things above.
My prayer, for each of us, is that we can be the best versions of our sinful and messed up selves and that we can be prone to worship rather than to wander. Remember, worship can be done outside of the church aisles – it can take place in the kitchen, on the running trail, at the office desk and during the most inconvenient times throughout the day.
I encourage each of you to choose three things that you do during an ordinary day, whether that is folding laundry, driving to work, or simply brushing your teeth. Write out a short prayer that you can say each time you find yourself performing that task or activity. I’m on my way to meeting God in the ordinary and I would love for you to join me.